Okay, first off, those who already have Recon Armor cannot give it to you in any way shape or form, and there is no point in asking them how they got it, because Recon Armor is only awarded for original things.
Second, Recon Armor can be given to you, it is not only for bungie staff, but by asking for it, bothering people who have it, or spamming bungie staff with questions, you will definitely NOT get it.
Third, the flaming helmet (it isn't necessarily a flaming recon helmet, it can be any helmet) is only obtainable by being a bungie employee, there is no way that anyone that doesn't work at bungie will ever get a flaming helmet.
Fourth, it IS possible to unlock it, you have to complete all vidmaster challenges in Halo 3 and Halo 3: ODST
Second, Recon Armor can be given to you, it is not only for bungie staff, but by asking for it, bothering people who have it, or spamming bungie staff with questions, you will definitely NOT get it.
Third, the flaming helmet (it isn't necessarily a flaming recon helmet, it can be any helmet) is only obtainable by being a bungie employee, there is no way that anyone that doesn't work at bungie will ever get a flaming helmet.
Fourth, it IS possible to unlock it, you have to complete all vidmaster challenges in Halo 3 and Halo 3: ODST